It’s my 19th birthday today.

It’s my 19th birthday today.

dizzy dory

dizzy dory

POKEBALLIN’ 2
COMING SOON

POKEBALLIN’ 2

COMING SOON

This Piece Cost Me $28

hey im gonna do a thing where i write a lot of words and then other people can read the words but heads up a couple of the words are bad words so if you feel as though reading a bad word will taint your otherwise immaculate existence please don’t read the other words thanks, dylan

"How do you do it?" they prod. “The LEGO movies, how on Earth do you create these spectacles?”, expecting some sort of grand explanation, the ambiguously fictitious they often forget that the stop motion videos they are praising are derivatives of the simple move lego, take picture, move lego, take picture (repeat 4000x). I usually regurgitate the typical, “Oh you know, a lot of LEGO and even more patience haha please love me,” which is true, but this is my blogzone webspace and I like sharing the finer details of my craft with y’all, so here’s a fun story from my current production of [TITLE REDACTED].

As is the nature of any LEGO based project, the sets and characters and things that are going to be built out of LEGO require, you know, LEGO. And sometimes these builds can become very specific, requiring a certain piece before progress can continue. We all remember moments like these, sifting through the bucket for what feels like hours trying to find that elusive 2x4-dark-blue-grey-inverted-half-pipe-super-slope, only to give up and find it days later and forgetting what the hell we wanted it for. sigh

Yesterday was like that but worse, because hey no spoilers read the story idiot.

this is a picture of the piece i needed but for some reason the image didn't load maybe refresh your page

I was in dire need of the above piece. No other piece would do, I needed this one brick and this one brick only. I knew I had two of them: the first was being used for another character in the video, leaving the second to be found anywhere in the pile of bricks, “the pile of bricks” being synonymous of course with “my closet of lego buckets and under my bed of lego buckets and desk of lego buckets and this is pretty much my job right now so i have a lot of lego okay”.

My initial searches were not very successful as in not successful at all, so I switched my search into high gear. Setting out a white sheet, I dumped bucket by bucket onto the sheet, meticulously sifting through the piles in hopes of finding a single brick.

this was supposed to be a picture too, you need to refresh the page

refresh the page why aren't you listening to me

For hours nothing cropped up. The only reward was a slipped disc and the confusion and general disapproval of my family, yet I pressed forward. If I couldn’t find the piece in my own collection then I would have to order the piece online, and that could take weeks, maybe years. I could birth a human child by the time a single LEGO piece could arrive at my door, and that’s just silly. Must find tiny thing amongst tens of thousands of other tiny things.

this is so like you, all i want is to show you some pictures and you cant even do that for me what has this marriage become

Hey look, I found my Pokemon card collection! Tucked away in the back corner of my studio (bedroom) closet, only a merciless sweep of my studio (bedroom) could unveil this lost treasure! Haven’t seen this thing since I was a wee lad, great to see my complete and utter lack of coolness as a kindergartener has transcended the trials of puberty as I now search for a children’s toy as a legal adult. 

this was gonna be a really great picture but you took my dreams and shit on them

Enough nostalgia, there is a piece to be found. The search, much like my heart, will go on.

call your internet provider and tell them the internet is fucking pissed cause i am

I like to consider myself a persistent individual, and I like to think that my five hour search is reflective of that self perceived character trait, but even so, my confidence faltered. My entire studio (bedroom) had been torn apart for this hip joint I so desperately needed, but it still was nowhere to be found. It was at this point, and not many hours earlier, that I decided to check my Bricklink orders. Bricklink is like eBay for LEGO, and I had procured this piece from the website a couple years ago for a different project. 

Oh, except I didn’t. Checked the receipts and as it turns out the piece wasn’t part of any of my orders ahaha OHH THAT’S RIGHT, I thought about buying the part but decided not to because past me IS a mischievous asshole.

Marinated with a healthy surplus of sweat and disappointment, I carefully weighed my options: order the piece online and maybe have a kid or buy a set with the piece in it. My patience had run out by this point so yeah sure I’ll buy a box of 300 legos for one legos. Good old Target had just what I needed. Only twenty-eight hard earned Canadian dollars!

here's the 28 dollar thing. now the post means nothing

So there you have it. I found the piece I had spent an entire day looking for but in my obsession had lost my sanity. Such is the human condition right guys

right

guys right

hrgh